Cinema on the Verge

I enjoy films that attempt to wrestle with some of the real problems that men and women face in the midst of a relationship or after the breakup of one. I don’t care for the recreation of an ideal romance that seems more at home on a greeting card or chick flick. I want to see a film that gets messy with the subject and shows the bleeding wounds that we can inflict on one another in the name of love. Confusions Of An Unmarried Couple is a film by the Canadian brother duo of Brett and Jason Butler that makes an attempt at doing this. Does the film succeed? I’ll save that answer for later in the the review, first some background on the story.

Dan (Brett Butler) is a young gent so shattered by the recent breakup with his girlfriend Lisa (Naomi Johnson) that he’s basically shuttered himself from the world. The film opens with scenes of Dan living off a diet of beer and very little else. He seems to sleep all day and normal things like showering and taking care of himself are too much of an hassle. Dan is not lazy or a pig, he simply has nothing left in the emotional tank to sustain himself. He masturbates to images of Lisa and questions why she did what she did. When done, he wallows in the stench of his physical neglect and mental malaise.

Lisa sits at home creating humorous folk songs chastising Dan for what he did. Her song is interrupted by Dan, who continuously bombards her with crank calls. Lisa’s place used to be Dan and Lisa’s place. We learn that the two were planning to get married but it all fell through when Dan caught Lisa cheating with another woman. And while Lisa may harbor some anger over the breakup, it’s Dan who hurts the most. Lisa still has numerous things of sentimental value at her place and these things motivate Dan to finally go out into the real world to get them back. It’s in the attempt to reclaim these things that the meat of the story is told.

What is the meat of the story? What many dysfunctional relationships are; a battle of semantics and one upping each other. Most of the film takes place at Lisa’s with both she and Dan verbally slugging it out. The action is cut with documentary style confessions of each of them giving their side of the story. Are they right or wrong? Difficult to say because this is not a cut and dry issue. Actually, there are many issues that are tackled in this film that many people out there have done or experienced. There are the mistakes of confusing sex with intimacy and intimacy with white lies. There are secrets and insecurities. There are accusations that men only care about sex. We do care, but sex for men isn’t always about self gratification, it’s about feeling like a wanted man and gaining confidence from that. What better way to get that than from a woman you love or desire? Maybe we place too much worth on the act, but it’s the most efficient way for us because that’s how are minds are rigged. Is it wrong? That issue is always up for debate. Dan is ridiculed for not speaking of other women because he views them as future sex partners. Is the caution a fear of commitment, a cushion for his ego or a natural act of self preservation? Why would Lisa pressure Dan to marry if she still had feelings for this other woman in her past? Is it true love that these 2 seek or power over each other?

Love is not power over someone, this much I know. Therefore what I saw between Dan and Lisa was something more on the side of lust and codependency with a chance for love somewhere underneath it all. I sat back and found myself nodding and laughing over some of the points addressed in this film, and there are many of them. This is a dialog driven film that feels like it’s arguing with itself. This is not a bad thing as the film is attempting to grapple with issues that destroy relationships the world over. Neither sex fully understands the other and each argument draws a deeper divide between them. It made me realize how much time and energy are wasted on the wrong things. Dan returning to Lisa’s place was not so much about getting what belonged to him, but taking away things that could hurt her in a vengeful way. Haven’t we all felt this at the end of a bad breakup? Is this a productive exercise? I feel it weakens us further, but that’s just my take.

I really enjoyed the film but did it succeed in it’s attempt? I think the themes the Butler brothers are dealing with are excellent territory that they should keep exploring. This is their 3rd film that I’ve reviewed and with each one, I see bigger and bigger steps in the right direction. Gone are the homages to their idols and instead we have a more vulnerable and heartfelt outing. It’s not easy to stick your neck out like this but they have. This feels like their vision and it’s a good one. Actually this is their best and most mature outing thus far. So the answer is yes for this outing and no in the bigger picture. I say “no” because I know they have more to say on these topics and I want them to keep digging. The best is yet to come from these men.

If you’ve loved and lost and fought to be loved again, this one may be for you.